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About Hamilton

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After what feels like forever, we finally get the fire under control. I’m exhausted, but there’s this rush of relief. I look around, and people are clappin’ and cheerin’. It’s like we just won a championship or somethin’. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but really, I’m just doin’ my job.

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